merry christmas everyone!!!

it's been awhile since i wrote somethin down here...
hmm where can i start...it's now coming close to 7 in the morning and i have not caught a wink of sleep yet...oh well i will, right after i pin some of my life's happenings down...
i jus got back from midnight mass & a movie...im in such such such a jolly christmas mood, that i'm practically glowing and feeling radient...haha
wat i want for christmas? hmm...coming to think about it...i have got everthing i want...and i mean everything! i have got him! yest on the 24th of dec was our 1 month ani... it's amazing how someone special can keep u smiling, laughing and smirking the entire day...
another great news!!! i have got back together with my used-to-be best fren since pri 1...so we are back to being best frens again...n the feeling is so great...it's partly thanks to him who made me thinking abt how impt friendship is...
i met up with her and we talked things out, expressed our feeling, exchanged praises and catching up on so much we have missed in each others lives...we even exchanged birthday presents as we are e late nov dec babies...hee
we'll be meeting up real soon to shop n exchange christmas prensents and im really looking forward to it...we are back to being best buddies!!!
(memories shared with old frens=priceless)-clare's equation
hics:D
alrty i gtg
tata gooood morning!

finished my diploma finally!

hmm...now that im "free-er", i guess i would be able to find more time to update my blog right?
reason being: i just ended my diploma course in preschool education-teaching...weee
my graduation would be held somewhere in january next year if im not wrong...
so here is the latest on what as been going on in my life so far...well...
so far... i have made up my mind to take the (BECh) Bachelor of early childhood in RTRC which will be commencing in June next year...
which means i have a few months to relax and lay back before i start having a frantic schedule with work n school again...and to be able to focus completely on my work for now...
i'd have to admit, my class children have been slightly neglected since i started getting the piling assignments from school! oh well, i have decided to make it up to them by buying the balloons they wanted so badly...hee
oh and yah i met someone who is really nice and sweet to me...
and still is...
end of details on that...it's private!

wish me luck in my degree yah...though still a few months away...
but i'd still need all the luck i can get, cause not only will i be the youngest but also the least experinced one there...
smiles...

A poem written on my 18th bday...

i wish i may i wish i might, get the wish i wish tonight...

one of my wishes,
on my 18th birthday,
was to find for that someone;
who'd make my heart jump!

he'd be that someone,
who'd still love me,
even when i looked all ugly,
or acted horribly.

and'd still love me,
when i'm totally moody,
zonked out sleepy,
or piggishly drooly.

not only loving me,
when i looked pretty,
sounded sexy,
or acted naughty.

loving me for who i am,
not for how i looked,
or just a mere something,
to satisfy his ulterior motive...

the end

okok i'm writng rubbish...dont read any of it...
hee...im soo tired...
gtg...nity...weeeezz

time to Party!

Weee...i have completed all my Course assignments and exams!
dont i just love this feeling of sheer relief...
hmm... i was really tired last night as i struggled to finish the rest of my assignments the moment i reached home from work...i slept at 1 and woke up at 6.30 this morning...
sigh...as usual i was yawning my way through work...
today though sleepy, it was great, the nursery one children under me for the concert dance item improved tremondously since the last time i had practived with them...
all thanks to having to teach them 2 by 2...i had to dance nearly 10 times in a day...
the song they are dancing to is stuck in my head..."hot Stuff" by donna summers...70's hits
talking about gym...i really feel like i have signed up for a regular work out programme since concert practices started...
i cant wait for the concert...its on the 28th of this month...weee
haha ok ok im just really hyper due to this uplifting of the big burden that has been on me during the entire diploma course...
Today they had a new dish on the lunch menu at work...the children seemed to love it, and gobbled everything up...
oh yah, and i was given 2 assignments by my modaling agency today...
i accepted one but had to reject the other due to working commitments...
oh well...im going down for the audition tml...On My Birthday!
haha its just a few more hours to it and im counting down...
i gtg prepeare to go for my course now...
will be home really late...im not too sure where my friends have planned to go partying at tonight...
hee
tataz...
i cant stop *smiling*

banana cake anyone?

i was soooo touched by what an uncle from my church did for me...
he actually had his maid make a banana cake as an advance birthday celebration for me...
it was soooo good, that at the first mouthful, i was just letting every morsel of it melt in my mouth slowly...mMmM...
and as everyone sang happy birthday to me...i was just sitting there giving a spastic grin...oh well, i din knw whether to sing along or cry or smile...haha so i played dumb...really dumb
lunch at his house was great too...there was tofu, duck, beef curry, veggies with rice, not forgetting 3 diff types of fruits,
of which one of them was honey pineapple...sadly i cut my lip on it...slight bleeeding n all
after lunch my cousines and i headed to my uncle's place to peek at the baby girl again,
my my my she is just gorgeous...i can just sit there n look at her for the rest of the day...
sigh...how will my future daughter look? i wonder...
okok before i start day dreaming again... i want to thank everyone who has sent me birthday wishes in advance and presents...
every small thing done for me is always big in my eyes...
smiles...
nighties:D

Pain!

i have been feeling so sick since today morning the moment i got up,
argh!!! had to go to work at 7am this morning, which included wiping of the children's mattresses at the childcare, i got so dizzy a K2 boy offered to help me complete wiping the rest...i was so touched, ain't he sweet...
my head felt so heavy and i kept having an urge to vomit...
stomach flu i guess as i din have much appetite for food, which i always do...
what's more, it was that time of the month,
what could be worse!
(bad headache) *rubbing my temples*
my aunt gave birth to her baby -bernardette yest night!
she is so adorable, fair and has dimples on both sides of her cheek!
i'm in pain again! argh...ok i know labor pains are much worse then cramps but i have a feeling i can die from this...
gotto go find painkillers...
tata

...he completes me...oh well i had second thoughts...

i have been asked by numerous friends to update my block, so here it is...
Oh yah...remember i mentioned in my previous post that a guy made me feel complete...oh well he did but only for 2 weeks, after that i was feeling miserable and EMPTY! i dont know what the hell was wrong with me, but after thinking, now i know, i'm too single-minded...is that a bad thing?
i just feel that a relationship ties me down and i'm stuck in a life long routine...
ok maybe i'm exaggerating, but to me, if i were to ever go into another relationship, i'd have to be completely, totally, madly, crazily in love with that person, if not i'd not be happy.
talking about infactuation, now i know whats it all about...my defination of it-infactuation: liking that person alot for that moment in time, then its OVER! seriously, infactuation can never hold a couple together for long.
i find it really wasteful and meaningless to be with someone i do not love or have feelings for, and yet again i hate to hurt the feelings of the person...i'm always caught in the middle of this whole relationship thing over and over again...
And i am trying not to ever be in a situation like tat again...
ok! enough of the depressing stuff...
other then all that, life has been Great! i knew singlehood was the best...and then again except when you need to be loved once in awhile...
but thats not a problem to me, thats just the reason y i look forward to my job everyday, imagine, 19 children showering you with love...wet kisses and hugs...
these 4 yr olds just adore you like you mean the world to them, imagine...innocent, sincere and lovable...
Last Wednesday was my mum's birthday, i bought her a rich choc, kit-kat based cake...yum
and on Sat i went on a big time shopping spree in bugis and Orchard...
my tiny toes are still aching...
oh well i better end this off...i still have assignments to complete...
they are due end of this week, then im FREE!
alright then,
before i start yakking on...
a small secret to share...
my birthday is next wed...hee i cant wait!
tata...muackx

it's been so long...

it's been so long...since i wrote something down here...life has been great...really great...geez...why don't i sound more enthu about this? oh well i guess it's the work load that has been placed upon me...argh! someone save me...i have 4 assignments to complete by next thursday...
hmm...but coming to think abt it...other then that my life is going unpredictably well...
and i'm using the term "unforseen circumstances" way too often...
be it to cover up a wrong doing or for my benefit ...

well lets see what i have been doing for the past few weeks...
ah yes! i met up with amelia, her bf and fabian to play pool...gosh was it fun...
i kept laughing so hard i could not aim straight at all...
tears jus kept rolling down my cheeks...
amelia and me kissed in front of the whole of monsterque...jus to pose for the cam...
a totally crazy day!

Other then that it has been work, my nite courses, n meeting dex...
i guess he completes me!
argh! i sound wierd but i guess i'm jus really happy whenever i'm with him...
smiles...
i gotto get on with my assignments!
tata

how i wish everyday could be like this...

pic displayed: me on the left (big hoop errings) n bestie!
i had loads of fun yesterday, went to yacht club with my best fren for a swim, everything was great except for the weather, could not see a single speck of the sun in the sky. how much i had longed for some sunshine, but all i could see were clouds and more clouds. but nonetheless, the view was beautiful, yachts parking, ships sailing afar, tugboats and my best friend and me soaking away in the clear blue swimming pool. gentle breezes and coconut trees, ahh! totally relaxing. after a short swim, we headed for the steam bath, hmm no wonder i slept so well last nite... hee... oh oh and the food was superb! i had fish and chips, satay, drank a coconut, watermelon juice and vanilla ice cream...mMmM...i was practically busting after all that...haha
Later in the nite we headed for Marina Square and chilled at Mac cafe...
but not after entering into nearly 20 shops!
My legs were killing me!
i better get some rest now, got up way early to attend church service.
tata:D

a summerised poem of my life

The longing to let out the real me within is driving me crazy,

A whirlpool spinning endlessly, somewhere I can’t reach out to

The only refuge is e use of words that flow at a capillary pace

I’m stuck in this clot of self, and he destined does not reach out for me

Crying is at this point will only bring the esteem within a whole notch lower

Strength returns, like an angel of miracle overshadowing

Her wings fluttering faintly in the distance

Becomes a sweet melodious tune that lullabies me to rest

I awake stronger, ready to face the strongest tide,

To fight the ugliest of beasts,

But yet a timid self within pulls back the chains of insanity

“The line cannot be crossed…” a voiced whispered in my ears,

So here, I today just want to be myself once more,

Not wanting to be left concealed into the past,

Nor to be led into senseless involvement in the lives

Of people that add misery to my interior self,

Though the misery no longer manifests its existence

The fear of it retuning quirks me back to the past

Where the big sign hangs and lingers-“rejection”

That is my greatest weakness till today,

Being genuine about it is just how I really want things to be,

Honest and true, to you…

"Peace" at work-poem written while my angels rest (naptime)

-my life as a childcare teacher-
whispers of a child,
shuffling of feets,
contact of the skin,
against the matteress surface,
brings peace.

the fan turns above,
it's whooshing echos,
lightly it lifts strands of my hair,
against my cheeks,
it's caressing brings peace.

with legs outstretched,
tension scattered away,
i lift my head,
eyes directed at the celing,
this state of mind-utter peace.